I’m a proud police officer that can  inform the public that before legislators came out with distracted driver legislation, I invented it by first defining what can distract a driver. Two separate incidents happened, both in a police vehicle, while I was a passenger. The first victim was my friend John. We were driving back from a seminar in Cranbrook. We came on a piece of highway that had a reputation as an elk hangout. We came upon probably the largest group of elk that I have ever seen and I noticed John concentrating on looking to the left in amazement of all the elk. He was not looking ahead on the road and he commented there must be 200 elk in that field. I yelled at the top of my lungs in utmost fear, “201 counting the freagin’ one in the middle of the road!”

Panic in his face, slam on the brakes, four wheel skid, face to the window. As he looked over to me I responded “just kidding.” Distracted driver, you bet.

The second incident involved Larry driving this time, again while coming back again from a seminar in Cranbrook. With a hot Tim Hortons coffee in my hand, I nod off. My hand relaxes obviously, and all of a sudden I scream out very loud realizing my crotch is burning and on fire. Now, when you nod off and go into a deep sleep then wake up like that, there is no recollection you were holding a hot cup of coffee. All you know is your crotch is burning in pain and you don’t know why. Guys don’t like that kind of unknown.

Larry, he screams out “What” and almost hits the ditch.  Then he’s all laughter and can’t control himself.  Distracted driver, you bet.

Marko Shehovac is Staff Sgt. for the Columbia Valley RCMP